why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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