why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
