Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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