they need to just BURY HIM!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
