At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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