Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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