hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
