so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
