i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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