words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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