everyone is single if you try hard enough
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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