she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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