All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
