god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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