Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
