at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
