Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
