If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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