Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
