Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
