What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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