the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
ok first of all what the fuck
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
