Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

My face left an imprint in the loaf...

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."

Fav 8 4709 1251
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(706): View more from Georgia

He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes

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(818): View more from California

I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.

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(904): View more from Florida

Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again

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(864): View more from South Carolina

she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual

Fav 3 1656 1047
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(314): View more from Missouri

He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.

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(818): View more from California

Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.

Fav 0 34 40
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