i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
