Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize