It's Friday. Sex?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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