Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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