yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We have started to decorate penises.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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