If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
