we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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