Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
