either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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