There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
