Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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