i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
