I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Shame - the story of my life.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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