Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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