Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize