i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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