she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My ass is underappreciated
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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