UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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