This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
