He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
