I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
third nipple confirmed
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize