My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
