how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I have post one night stand depression
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