and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
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