If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize