All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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