no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
