I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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