every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
there's paper in my vomit.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
