garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize