Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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