Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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