I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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